Memento Moris English version
by Ilene
Summary: Serena has died. Darien, now a broken man, sets what he feels on paper, through a letter adressed to his beloved.


Dear angel,

I miss you so much. It happened years ago, and yet it seems time will not change anything, powerful though it might be. It will not be able to lessen my love for you, and neither will evil and trials.

Each day which goes by is at the same time a calvary and a relief. Each day which goes by burns my ravaged heart and suppresses tears which never ran.

Each day which goes by breaks even more the old tired man I have become. Each day which goes by brings me closer to the much awaited end, when I will meet Maât and join you.

Since you left, the desire for living has left me. The merry and happy young woman who brightened up my days passed away and did not come back.

Still, I have kept hoping, since this fateful day you passed on. I have prayed, begged, howled, but it was all in vain. This time, you did not come back. You fell and did not rise again, even though you had promised to. You had sworn that whatever happened, we would find each other. It seems death will help us to meet again. It tore us apart and it will bring us together, some day.

Your death turned upside down everything. We had plans, a future, and everything came crashing down. Of course, Reenie was never born, and Tokyo did not become the shiny crystal town everyone knows. With you the Silver Millenium dynasty died out. The Moon became dull, forever this time. The palace fell into ruin again, and the silver crystal, from then on deprived of a rightful owner, disappeared, and the sailor soldiers lost their powers and the Earth was left defenseless.

And I betrayed you.

I remained lonely, awfully lonely, for such a long time. For years, I took pleasure in my pain, basked in my suffering. And then I met her. She was so sensitive, so soft, so nice, so you that I married her. She will never ever be as good as you, I will never ever love her as much as I love you, and yet... I had dreamt of a fabulous and magic existence with the moon princess, I have a quiet life with an ordinary earthling. But though I would have been the happiest man ever with you, the fact remains that my life with her filled me with joy.

I have never told her about you. I have been lying to her since I met her, promising I had never loved anyone but her. And this was probably for the best.

Now, I have children, grandchildren I love, but I cannot refrain from feeling regret, each day, each minute. Because I miss Reenie, because I dream of you every night, in silence, because I am not cut out for this life. I should have been a majestic and respected king. Your death caused me to turn into a pathetic grandfather. This day, we all broke down, and none of us ever got over it. The invicible Sailor Moon had failed. Serena would never laugh again. Serenity had died, again.

It had never dawned on us that one day you might not rise again. And we were mistaken.

Do you know why I am still slightly happy, in spite of my pain ?

You died in battle, when you were at your peak. You did not have time to decline. You outshone the sun, and, as a result, you died. You passed away upon reaching perfection : A symbiosis of your three selves. On that moment three women were facing the situation, though we could only see one, in an imperial white dress, a sceptre in her hand, with her legendary blue eyes still as genuine. A goddess. This is what you were.

Now I have said everything, including the most shameful things. My betrayal towards you, my hypocrisy towards my wife, my unreasonable, undying love for you, my affection for her. My suffering, my pain, even my guilt. I have written it all. And I am free now. I have always known there was only one outcome for what had occurred. Death. Only death has the power to bring us together. I will die and join you. And we will be happy in death, since our union in life is cursed.

Nonetheless, before leaving, I must tell her the truth. I will leave this letter to her, with another one to tell her the whole story. And I hope that one day, she will be able to understand, and, who knows, to forgive me.

I guess the golden crystal shall be passed to my elder son. He has a good heart, I know he will be a good king, even if he should never have been one.

A last word before sending this letter.

Sorry.

Sorry, dear angel, sorry to my wife, sorry to my children, sorry, Reeny, my beloved first and only daughter, who will never be born.

I love you all, and you more than the others, dear angel.

I love you.


End file.
